November 2012

I wrote this rant to myself almost 3 years ago and I go back and read it far too often. I say that because if I was taking my own advice I wouldn’t have to keep reminding myself of these things. But I don’t because of excuses. The thing I loved about 750 words was the motivation to continue, and while I liked the social (positive) pressure while I was continuing, when I blew it I was way too depressed about it. I felt like, I’d already gone through all the trouble of climbing to the top of that tree, and then I’d fallen out, climbing back up had no appeal. And while I know I didn’t have to participate in those aspects, they were too attractive to ignore. I’ve just installed Good Habits on my iPhone which is a similar “don’t break the chain” motivator. It keeps track of the things you want to do everyday and lets you know how many days in a row you’ve done them. Encouraging you to make increasingly longer chains of successful accomplishment.

You don’t win by only doing the things that work, you win by doing things often enough that you learn from the loses, you learn from the failures, you learn by working your way through things and can grab the opportune moments when they show up. Nothing worse than missing an opportune moment.

I need more creativity in my life. I miss it. I’ve resigned myself to the fact that I enjoy creating things and am making an effort to do more of that. It’s easy to not do things. I don’t want easy. I don’t want comfortable. I want to walk head first into the difficult, into the new. I’m evicting myself from my comfort zone. Expect to see more writing here as that journey progresses, but don’t expect it to make sense or be pretty.

A few years ago after year that turned me upside down in a number of ways, I was invited by a friend to spend a few months in Vienna. A way to kind of get away from it all, while still being a part of it all. The experience was cathartic. If you were reading my blog at the time then you know all about it, and I’ll assume you were and not rehash it all again here. My time in Vienna helped me remember who I was and what was important to me. I left there with a different and I think wholly better perspective on my life and where I was at and where I was headed. I grew a lot over those months and in the years since then I’m always thought fondly of the city and the people that helped me wrap my head around so many things. I’ve visited often, and have quite the emotional connection to the place now.

Next week I’ll be heading back again, this time with my wife and son, and I’m so very excited to spend time with them in this place that is so important to me. I’m looking forward to what we’ll experience together there, without having any idea what that will be. I’m also hoping some of the inspiration that lit such a fire in my head, even just a spark, will help me figure out which next steps to take and how to take them.