January 2013

Global Neighborhood

Somewhere between Vienna & Paris, from above

I was incredibly lucky as a kid to have a family that on occasion took me to far corners of the earth. And while most of it had goofy religious justifications I was really too young to understand that, but still old enough to know I was going on a great adventure around the world. I don’t remember every bit of it, actually just flashes like a slideshow. In fact it’s weird what images from those trips are burned into my head. My grandfather standing in a hallway of a hotel in Rome. My cousins walking through the lobby of yet another hotel looking out over the Adriatic Sea in Split in what used to be Yugoslavia. Some people standing on the side of a street in Medjugorje, current day Croatia. I barely remember the landmarks, but I remember these images vividly. Anyway, point being when I was growing up I was exposed to this wild stuff and it great.

It was great because it taught me that nothing was out of reach, and even these places all the way around the world were accessible. And there were people there just like me.

That understanding continued with me through my teens and early adulthood even though I wasn’t traveling as much at that point. But I missed it, and when I had the opportunity to go somewhere far away and different again I jumped at the chance. I’d dreamed of visiting Japan for as much of my life as I can remember – originally because of an obsession with Japanese monster movies and robot cartoons, and later an affinity for a handful of Japanese film directors and martial artists, as well as the cultural aesthetic in general – but I’d always had a reason not to go. When I finally said fuck it and just went, I was both delighted that it was better than I ever dreamed, and disappointed that I’d talked myself out of visiting so many times previously.

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Aaron

I woke an hour ago to the news that Aaron Swartz killed himself. From my vantage point it seems like the entire internet is mourning him. It only takes reading a a few posts by people who loved him to understand why. Not why he did it, but why there are Alderaan levels of horror and sadness being felt that he did. An entire world crying out in pain.

I didn’t know Aaron personally, I knew of him of course – he was a very cherished person to many people I cherish. When I’d read his name, like many others out there in similar circles, I’d often think how weird it was that I hadn’t met him yet and wondered when I finally would. I so frequently meet people that I’ve known about for years, or who I’ve interacted with online but never met in person that it’s not even noteworthy anymore. I just expect that anytime a friend talks about someone that I’ll someday be hanging out with them. To the point that it’s almost a game. What will be the circumstances when I’ll meet them? Where in the world will it happen? Who will do the introduction?

I’ll never have the chance to meet Aaron now, and I’m saddened by that.

Knowing what I do about him and what he accomplished in his relatively short life, and reading the words my friends are writing about their friend – we all lost one of the good ones today. And regardless of if anyone knew him personally, we’re all worse off without him. It’s so terribly unfortunate that he felt this was his only escape.

I’ve written about my own experiences with depression and suicide in the past. I likely will again in the future. Today, I don’t know what to say. Except this sucks.

Shadowboxing

I just wrote the stupidest blog post in the history of text being transmitted across the internet. Seriously it was a nightmare of epic wtfness. What’s worse is that I wrestled with it for hours. Hours! I was thinking about it while walking around yesterday and started typing it up last night and then hit a wall and thought I’d go to sleep and clarity would hit me and then I could polish it off and post it in the morning. I woke up still stumped but I forced my way through and turned it into something that at least had some kind of clear start and finish then then I went to have breakfast and came back to reread it and wanted to punch me in my own damn face for wasting a second it it. Or at least on the approach I was taking. Delete!

Because I know I’ve piqued interest now and I don’t want to leave anyone flustered wondering if what I’d written was dramatic, or somehow impacted them, or what I’m hiding I assure you it was none of the above. It wasn’t a big tell all or anything scandalous. The post was about how isolating being in Japan can be, but in a good way. Good for me anyway, I can certainly see how what I feel when I’m here could be interpreted as loneliness to some people and it might bother them, but I really enjoy it. I talked about how not understanding the chatter around me, being ignored by marketers, having only the most basic of conversations with employees at establishments etc means that there are almost no distractions inside my head, the only conversation is the one I’m having with myself all day long. It allows for some fantastic focus and clarity.

And at the same time because I do have a network here, people and place I know and enjoy visiting it’s almost like my own personal secret society. There was much more to this and I rambled on with a bunch of useless references and then I realized how masturbatory the whole thing was and that’s when I killed it.

Trust me, it’s much better for both of us this way.

fuckitshipit

Sometimes you talk about something and then every other conversation you end up having that day ends up back at theme you started with. My post yesterday about getting shit done resulted in a day full of discussions about just that. You could interprete that as lack of imagination and inability to think of other thing to talk about or you could decide it’s just that important and useful that you can’t push it out of your head and you know it needs to be focused on. I’m choosing the later. Fuck it. Ship it. We say this a lot. It means quit worrying about all the details and get it out the door. Deliver something.

I’ve linked to Bre’s Cult Of Done a hundred times in the past and I’ll link to it 100 times in the future because it’s that good. Getting something done trumps not get getting something done, and if you don’t get something done because you are worrying about this or that – that’s still not getting something done. The reason Woody Allen said “Eighty percent of success is showing up” is because eighty percent of people don’t show up. They will find a reason and talk them selves out of it. So by just being there you are ahead of the game already, use that to your advantage. Just go.

Almost 3 years I wrote this motivational post to myself in regards to writing because I was doubting and talking myself out of it. If I want to write I need to write. If I convince myself that I don’t have anything to say and then don’t write then I’ve lost. If I write – if I write anything, then I win. If I write something good then even better, but just writing is already putting me ahead of the game. I need to remind myself of that all the time. I’m really good at convincing myself it’s not worth trying. I’m full of shit about that, it’s totally 100% worth trying. 2013 is the year of trying everything. Doing everything. Delivering everything. If not now, when?

Fuck it. Ship it.

GSD

I’ve been semi-consciously avoiding linking to Shane – who is a super awesome guy that I’m lucky to call a friend, who also recently got back on the blog wagon – only because I didn’t want go full bore into the “conversational” blogging just yet, where one blog post is just a reply to another. Which has it’s merits of course, but I wanted to get this in motion a bit on it’s own first. That said, I just landed in Tokyo after a day of delayed and the blog post I began to write was just a bitch fest about the people who sat next to me on the plane, which no one wants to read.

Shane posted today asking how people get things done and noting that is own MO has been less than satisfying. I’ve been thinking about this a lot for a while actually so I thought I’d run with it, which is probably more interesting than the “omg dude won’t give me any of the armrest!!” that I running towards.

#3 on Shane’s list is “Tell someone idea before it’s fully hashed out” which is an interesting bit here. I’ve heard the philosophy that you should never tell anyone about your projects until they are finished, because the mental reward of someone saying “oh yeah, that sounds great!!” is often enough to reduce your desire to finish it. It’s fulfilling in the same way on a neural level so it’s kind of like picking up a snack on the way to dinner, when you get to dinner you are less motivated to eat it. Or something.

I’m sure that is the case for some people. Did I just type that? How many people are there on this planet? Whatever case you can think of certainly applies to some of them. I’m such an idiot. Anyway, what I was saying is that I don’t think there is a universal policy here. For myself, I know very well that I’m really good at starting things and really bad at finishing them. I’m pitifully reliant on motivation from outside feedback. The exciting spark and first steps draws me in and I can go full bore on something like crazy, but, and especially on projects I’m working on with other people, if I feel like the overall enthusiasm is waning, or people aren’t that interested, then it’s really easy for me to get distracted by something shiny.

So for me, telling people about the things I’m working on is kind of paramount. Some people are great at going “into the garage for a month” and then coming out with an awesome thing they’ve created. Not me. I need to keep showing the progress to people and keep getting assurance that it’s worth my effort to keep working on it. I think that’s part of why I stopped blogging on a regular basis before – I just didn’t get the sense that anyone was listening so why should I keep talking?

I don’t want this to sound like an entirely negative trait, I think getting feedback is crucial and can help you see which direction to take things and can help you decide where to focus your efforts. I have shitloads of unfinished projects, but they are mostly projects that I’ve either never told anyone about. The stuff I put out into public as a much higher completion rate than the stuff I keep hidden. Not all of it of course. How long have I been talking about writing a book, or several books for that matter? How many of my books do you have on your bookshelf? Right. But generally.

I also noticed when I was digging around in my head over the last year that at some point in my life my approach shifted. When I was young I’d have an idea and I’d work on it and then I’d release it and then I’d run with it. It was exciting and it kind of made me me, if that makes sense. Around college I started “partnering” with people. I figured two brains were better than one. Double the efforts, double the rewards, and stuff. There’s a very clear point in my life where until then all my efforts were solo, and then after that everything was with other people. I don’t know if I lost confidence in my own ability to deliver, or if I thought I needed others to justify it… I don’t know. Not that there is anything wrong with that. I’m super proud of many of the collaborations I’ve been a part of. But it’s different. I’d like to do something on my own again – maybe this year – if I can remember how. And if I can stay motivated.

Baggage

Today is a travel day.

I’m heading out in a moment to catch a flight to Japan for 10 days. A few days in Sapporo for a conference and then to Tokyo for a Safecast hackathon. I’m bringing one small suitcase that fits in the overhead compartment of the smallest airplanes and a very thin backpack. This is almost identical to the baggage I had with me while we spent December in Europe. Truth is, packing for one or two days is difficult, for anything over 4 days is easy. In fact, I never pack clothes for more than 4 days. I do laundry in my hotel room every night so at any given moment on my trip I have the clothes I’m wearing, a set of clothes drying in the shower, and one or two sets in the closet ready to go. You never need more than that. For this trip, I might even have more gadgets than clothes.

Checking luggage is one of the biggest headaches in air travel. It costs more, you have to wait around for ever to get it, you have to deal with dragging extra bags all over the place, lost or delayed luggage is common and throws giant wrenches into your plans. It’s not worth it. When you have carry on only, checking in is a breeze. Getting out of the airport is lightning fast. Getting from the airport to wherever you are staying is painless. Carry on only is the way to go.

I’ve been preaching this gospel for years and I’m still confronted with people who scratch their heads in awe of how someone could travel without bringing their entire wardrobe with them. The worst thing you can do when you travel is bring too much stuff. If you get home and there is something in your bag that you didn’t use that is a fail. If you are traveling to any kind of a city, chances are you can default to bringing less stuff and in the worst case you can buy something there if you really need it. Think closely about everything you pack – is this something you are going to use every day on your trip, or just once – maybe? If I can avoid it I never pack a “maybe” item. A mental game you can play is to threaten yourself – if you pack something and you don’t end up using it, you aren’t allowed to bring it back. With stakes like that getting choosy is a little easier.

I put 90% of my stuff in my suitcase, and keep a very small bag for under the seat. In that bag the only I have is my laptop and power cord (in case I’m lucky enough to get a seat with an outlet), my kindle, my camera, an eyeshade, earphones, ear plugs, my geiger counter (for logging in flight) and a flashlight. Maybe a snack bar. That’s pretty much everything I could need. Jackets never got in suitcases – just shove them in the overhead.

As nailed as I have my travel set up, my real life is a disaster compared to that. Boxes of stuff in the closet, in the garage. Mental clutter. I think about how painless and awesome my approach to travel makes my life, and try to take those lessons and apply them elsewhere. I’m not quite as good at that, but I think it’s a worthwhile goal. We need the stuff to get through today and tomorrow. Worrying about next week doesn’t help at all. It’s all about today. It’s all about right now.