web 1.0OK seriously people, everyone needs to knock this crap off right now. The next person who says “web 3.0” and isn’t being sarcastic gets fired. No questions asked, just pack your desk and get out. I mean really, this is like an Onion article that a year later comes true, we can’t just sit by and let this happen.

Look, saying “web 2.0” makes sense, barely, as it was the next step. There was the web, then a big crash, and then a come back so calling the comeback “2.0” is a quick easy way to explain that you mean the newer incarnation of the web, not the original information super highway where we all were getting excited over hypertext and blink tags. We can not get into versioning the web. There is simply what already happened and what has yet to happen. We can’t start debating web 2.75 vs web 3.10 vs web 4.0. It’s going to turn into one douchebag trying to out do another douchebag by just adding numbers in describing their product. The fact is that the term “web 2.0” is basically just marketing hype anyway, so adding on to that is just hype X 2. The quickest way to sound like a hack and make it very clear to anyone who knows what they are talking about that you don’t is to say web 3.0 and mean it.

So what do we call this next round of internetness? Um, how about The Internet. We really don’t need a fancy buzzword for it at all. We all have the basic knowledge to know that when you say the web today you aren’t talking about the super awesomeness of the <br> tag. Or even the </br> tag. Stop trying to glue glitter and sparkles on to something to cover up the fact that it’s a stupid idea, and just build something cool. Let the people writing the history books come up with a classification for it all, don’t try to brand something that doesn’t even exist.